|
| Newsletter |
Sign up for our free newsletter and receive an article each fortnight on bringing out the best in people. Subscribe now and we will also send you 3 e-books on building a happier and more productive workplace.
|
| Testimonials |
|
| Current Poll |
|
|
|
The many benefits of negativity
A well-known song has the phrase, "Don't worry, be happy". But I wonder if this song overlooks the many positive benefits of stressing and worrying. Firstly, worrying is a very logical thing to do. If there is something you are concerned about, the logical thing to do is to spend a lot of time thinking about it. Good worriers learn that they must focus a lot on things completely out of their control and resist the urge to take action over those things that are in their control.
Worrying is also a nice counterbalance to those pesky people who are into happiness and positivity. After all, those optimists need a good dose of realism from time to time. At least by imagining worst case scenarios we will be better prepared if those situations ever do occur. Sure, most things we worry about never actually happen, but you never know. In a work situation, looking stressed gives the impression of someone who works hard without actually having to work harder. The hunched shoulders, the pursed lips, and the furrowed brow work well here.
To stress and worry really well, you have to get your thinking working right. It helps to look at your life, others and your present and future through very dark glasses. You will need to be quick in discounting other ways of seeing your life, avoid people who have a more optimistic view, and focus excessively on those parts of your life with which you are unhappy. 'End of the world' type thinking or 'There's nothing I can do to help myself' thoughts are a good start. You will need to practise such thinking, but before long it will become fairly automatic. Try and avoid distracting your attention onto something else as this can interrupt the worrying flow.
It is very important to resist any temptation to exercise or engage in some other interest as it is hard to feel stressed when you are active. If you are tempted, remind yourself that you are too emotionally drained to do it. With some practice, you can let how your feelings dominate all of your decisions. You can build on your worries by making sure you keep them all to yourself. That is one of the best recipes for feeling stressed or worried. It is also important to distance yourself from other people who can be of help. That includes close personal friends, your doctor, or counsellor. If you do succumb, you can undermine treatment by looking for a quick fix or appearing to co-operate, but do nothing in your own time to help yourself.
Whatever you do, don't notice those times when you are feeling less stressed or even a little perky and what you are doing at those times to feel that way. You are better to notice those times you feel most consumed by worry and do more of what you are doing during those times.
No, I have not gone crazy. Of course I do not want people becoming more stressed and worried. But often, the more we are aware of what doesn't work, the more we can choose to do less of it. Even in the case of clinical anxiety or depression, there are still choices people can make to either help themselves or make their condition worse. Is what you are doing and thinking helping or making things worse?
Want to use this article?
You are most welcome to reproduce this article in your newsletter, e-zine, or on your website.
All I ask is that you include a live link back to my website and the following by-line:
Ken Warren, known as ‘The Doctor of Difficult People’, is Australia’s leading speaker on the topic. He can show you how to turn difficult customers and co-workers into pussycats, make great teams even better, and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
Return to Articles page
Find out about coaching programs with Ken
Check out our upcoming public seminars
Book Ken for your next conference or in-house training day
|
