Are you addicted to your work?
Gordon was a self-confessed workaholic. He spent long hours at work in his own business, often working 60 hours per week or more. Even on his weekends and holidays he would still spend large amounts of time either stressing about his business, checking his emails, or working on a business project at home. We can all do this at times, but Gordon had been doing so for a long period and his health and relationship were now starting to suffer. He worried that if he worked less, his business was bound to suffer. When he did allow himself to relax, he did so in a high-cost way, drinking heavily, causing more stress to his relationship.
Why do people work themselves to death? Clive Hamilton, in his paper on Deferred Happiness Syndrome, says that people do so due to growing aspirations for more expensive lifestyles. The desire to stay in this race or provide well for family members lead many to work longer and harder often at the sacrifice of other aspects of their well-being. Some people also feel the need to work hard to provide for their retirement. This is especially the case for men in their forties or fifties. Others are simply stuck in a rut, living their life on a treadmill finding it hard to change despite being aware it is not bringing them happiness. Many parents are wracked by guilt in not spending more time with their children.
You don't have to wait until you have a relationship or health crisis before you do something different. Though many have to hit the proverbial brick wall before they see the need for change. Often the place to start is changing the way you are thinking. You first need to see the need for change and stop thinking that you don't have time to do anything else or that change is not possible. Along with changing your thinking, you also need to change what you are doing.
It is often easier to stop a particular pattern of behaviour if you have something else to do in its place. Discovering or rediscovering a passion can be a much healthier 'addiction', provided it helps you to achieve a greater sense of well-being and produces greater balance in your life. You may have to do some trial and error attempts at first until you discover what is a passion of yours. Of course, you don't want to make the mistake of Gordon who swung from one extreme of self-sacrificing his needs to the other where they were indulged at a high cost to his family. Start today by asking yourself if what you are doing and thinking is helping you to live your life in balance.
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Ken Warren, known as ‘The Doctor of Difficult People’, is Australia’s leading speaker on the topic. He can show you how to turn difficult customers and co-workers into pussycats, make great teams even better, and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
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