Applying strengths to problems
There is a story I like about Psychiatrist, Milton Erikson, who was about to attend a conference in Milwaukee. One of his colleagues asked him if he would mind checking on his mother, who lived there, who had been suffering from depression for many years. Erikson agreed to do so.
When he arrived at her home, he discovered she lived in a well-to-do suburb in a very large home. When he knocked at her door, she invited him in as she had been expecting him. Erikson commented on how lovely her home was and asked for a tour.
Every room was lavishly decorated but had a very oppressive atmosphere with heavy drapes blocking out the sunlight. She eventually took Erikson to the garden nursery outside the home which provided quite a contrast. The nursery was filled with beautiful African Violets, full of vibrant colour.
As they talked, Erikson discovered that she lived alone and only left her home twice a week. Once to do her shopping. On Sundays she would go to church. After seeing her home and hearing how she lived, Erikson commented that he didn't think she was a very good Christian.
When she asked him why he said this, he said, "Madam, God has given you a gift of being able to grow these beautiful African Violets. You could be giving them away to people who are going through a happy event such as a birth of a child or sadness of some sort. Up until now, you have been keeping this gift to yourself." Not long after, Erikson left. He never saw her again.
Some years later, this woman died and the headlines of the local newspaper read, ‘Milwaukee African Violet Queen dies. Thousands mourn her death'. Apparently, this woman had followed Erikson's suggestion - giving away African Violets to people within and outside of her church who were going through happy or sad experiences. By doing so over time, she endeared herself to her entire community.
Erikson was later asked by his colleagues why he hadn't explored this woman's pathology or prescribe to her one of the new medications. Erikson responded by saying, "It is better to focus on that which is living, than that which is dead." By this he meant that all people, even those with significant problems, have strengths which can be applied to their problem situations.
Erikson's work prompted the development of strengths-based counselling. If you work in a helping role and are interested in this approach, then check out my training program, Becoming Solution-focused in Brief Therapy.
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Ken Warren, known as ‘The Doctor of Difficult People’, is Australia’s leading speaker on the topic. He can show you how to turn difficult customers and co-workers into pussycats, make great teams even better, and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
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