Play to your strengths
Looking for a compliment, I recently asked my wife, Christy, what she thought were my strengths. I imagined she might say my charm, my good looks ... my humility. She turned her head to one side, pondered for a moment, and then said, ‘making me laugh'. While this sounds like a strength to be proud of, the truth is that most of the time I am not trying to be funny.
We all have strengths, even people who seem to have more than their fair share of personal flaws. But there is a negativity bias that most people have where we tend to be more aware of our own and others' weaknesses. It has been suggested that this bias towards noticing what is wrong has helped our evolution by avoiding possible dangers. But some people become stuck in focusing too much on the negatives. When people do this in their personal relationships, it tends to attract negative responses in return. When people focus too much on the negatives at work, it also drains motivation, affects performance, and, at its worst, can create a toxic workplace culture.
While there is a time to give people constructive feedback, the research says that we are better to focus more on what people are doing right rather than focusing solely on correcting what they are doing wrong. Encouraging people's strengths, what they are good at, is more productive than putting a lot of energy into addressing their weaknesses. A good rule-of-thumb is that positive feedback needs to outweigh constructive feedback by a factor of six to one.
According to the research, positive feedback is twice as effective in producing change as criticism. People tend to appreciate positive feedback, but it is more valued when it is directed towards what people see as their own strengths. I remember in one workplace being praised for my organisational skills. But to be honest, this was not something I especially valued about myself. How can you find out about your own as well as other people's strengths? You can notice what you are good at, what you enjoy, what interests you, and what you would like to learn.
When I was at high school, I remember how hard it was to become motivated in those subjects in which I was neither interested or talented. At that time, if you did not excel at Mathematics, for example, you were made to feel that you were lacking in some way. These days, schools tend to help students identify subjects that will be a better fit for their strengths.
Similarly in workplaces, it pays to notice what aspects of a person's role they especially enjoy or want to do. By enabling them to do more of this type of work, motivation will not tend to be a problem. While we can all work on our weaknesses, we will make faster progress by playing to our strengths.
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Ken Warren, known as ‘The Doctor of Difficult People’, is Australia’s leading speaker on the topic. He can show you how to turn difficult customers and co-workers into pussycats, make great teams even better, and achieve better outcomes with challenging clients. Check out his free resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
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