What makes you happy at work
My eight-year-old son, Robbie, is scared of storms. On some days, he will look anxiously at the sky and ask us if we think there is going to be a storm. My wife, Christy, and I coach him to calm himself by taking some deep breaths, reassuring himself that, if there is a storm, he will be OK, and then moving his attention onto something else. Typically, what distracts his attention are those things that make him happy - playing games or reading stories.
Robbie, of course, can be forgiven for focusing on the wrong things at times. He is a child after all. But I wonder how many of us make the same mistake as Robbie, focusing on those things that make us stressed or anxious and not enough on those things that bring us joy.
What is it that makes you happy? Research just out from the UK surveyed 3000 adults on this very topic. Interestingly, it is small things that make us happy. Being in the sunshine, listening to our favourite music, and getting into bed with freshly washed sheets are examples of little things that make us happy. 38% of people said they feel happier on a Saturday than any other day of the week, especially when they first wake up and realise it is the weekend. One of the nice findings was that we can tolerate being not entirely happy for a good part of our week and it doesn't take much to lift our spirits.
What would be in your list? Here are a few that are definitely in mine: hugs and cuddles from my three sons, simply watching them, how beautiful they are and laughing at the funny things they say and do, riding bikes and drinking coffee with my cycling mates, swimming in the surf before breakfast, and watching trashy TV shows with Christy - her mortification only enhances my viewing pleasure.
Of course, like Robbie, we also need to make a point of focusing deliberately on those things that make us happy. Here are a few ways that I sometimes do it right. Each night, I ask Christy and my boys what was the highlight of their day. Sometimes, we need to think about it. But even in challenging days, there is something to be grateful about. Christy, for some years, has also taken to writing down the funny things my boys say and do in a little book she keeps. It gives us great joy reminding ourselves of the classic things they say. My six-year-old son, Jamie, told me recently he was going to be a professional speaker when he grew up. His area of expertise? Icecreams!
You can also make a point of doing what makes you happy. At the beginning of each weekend or holiday, we often create a list of things we would like to do and make sure we do as many as possible. Some days, when I am work-obsessed, I remind myself that the most important thing I can do each day is to play with my boys. The importance is just as great for me as it is for them.
We also have responsibility for contributing to the happiness of others. When I am in our pool, floating on my back and the boys climb on top of me to sink me, when I wrestle and tickle them, when I give them hugs and tell them that I love them and am proud of them, I know I am helping to make them happy. There is no such thing as altruism - that when we give to others, we receive nothing back in return. When we help others to be happy, we also become happier ourselves.
In workplaces too, there are small things we can do to contribute to the well-being of our co-workers. It might be to genuinely thank someone for who they are or the work they are doing, to bring in a treat for morning tea, or to help someone out. I know many managers love it too when their staff let them know when they are enjoying their work as this makes them feel that they are doing a good job. We all have responsibility for contributing to the well-being of those we work with. Make it your goal each day to make someone laugh or feel good about themselves.
Of course, life happens and we also have to deal with challenges and stressors in our life. I think we are allowed to spend some time thinking and venting about these. But we also need to put a time-limit on our stressing, depressing and venting and focus also on what is right in our life. No matter how hard the challenges, there are moments of joy to create and savour in each day.
How would you answer the following questions:
What is it that makes you happy?
What will you do to build your own happiness?
How will you contribute more to the happiness of others?
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Ken Warren BA, M Soc Sc, CSP is an expert on People Management Skills and Human Behaviour. With his engaging, interactive and positive presentations, Ken has shown thousands how to improve team performance, provide great customer service, and enhance staff resiliency. Check out all his FREE resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
