Difficult co-workers made easy
Whenever I visit a workplace to speak to their staff, people invariably say it is not so much their customers who are stressful to deal with, it is more their coworkers who they find most challenging. Ongoing tensions with a manager or co-worker tend to be far more challenging than simply dealing with a customer who is having a bad day. So what can you do if you have a strained relationship with a co-worker or manager?
It helps to first consider whether how open to change that difficult manager or co-worker is. Firstly, there are those managers and co-workers who know they are not perfect and who are open to change. There are also those who don’t realise how they are coming across, but are open to change. Both of these types are definitely easier to approach and the prospects of getting a good outcome are high. The general rule is to act sooner before a small issue builds into a bigger one.
And then there are those who don’t have a clue about how they are coming across, don’t want to know, and are not open to change. These people are definitely the hardest with which to deal. With such individuals, the change you need to explore is helping them to realise how they behaviour is problematic. It can sometimes help to explore how their behaviour is affecting you and the benefits if there is change. Setting the right tone for the conversation is especially important – one that is laid-back, non-blaming, and more a ‘let’s work something out that is fair for both of us’ tone. If you can, communicate that you know they are not intentionally acting in ways to make your life difficult. People also tend to be more open to change if you also offer what you are willing to do to help.
Even when difficult conversations are handled well, this does not always guarantee change. For some co-workers, it can help to place them in a different role, if that is possible. They may well become less difficult if they are feeling more satisfied with their work. Of course, there are workplace scenarios where it is not an option to move people to a different role. You may have to take steps to end that person’s employment. If you are not in a position to do so, you either engage senior management to act or end your own employment at that workplace.
Ultimately, our happiness is determined by our choices. We either change our attitude towards that difficult person or we take action in some way. It could be to improve the situation, to make ourselves happier at home in the belief this will also make us happier at work, or to get ourselves into another workplace.
Ken Warren is a Professional Speaker who works with Team Leaders, Educators, and Helping Professionals, assisting them to bring out the best in people. Subscribe to his free newsletter through www.kenwarren.com.au and immediately receive 3 e-books to help you create greater happiness in your life.
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