Choices count more than abilities
Harry Potter, in the film, The Chamber of Secrets, was dismayed to discover he had received some of the abilities of his arch-enemy, Voldemort. He is reassured by Professor Dumbledore with the advice that it is not his abilities that matter, it is the choices he makes with them that counts.
This is a truth for all of us. Ultimately, the only thing that is in our control are the choices we make with our thoughts and actions. So often as human beings, we tend to focus on that which is out of our control. Perhaps we focus on our circumstances, wishing they were different. Some focus on the past wishing they could change it. Others focus on the future fearing what might happen. Or we focus on the frustrating behaviour of others.
All of the great people of history had one thing in common. They made admirable choices. Gandhi chose to respond with peace to the violence around him. Lincoln chose to have hope and courage despite numerous failures. Mandela chose to be filled with compassion instead of being consumed by hatred. We can choose to be crushed by our circumstances or we can choose to use them as motivation to grow.
All of us possess strengths and abilities. However, one of the curious things about human beings is we tend to be more aware of our weaknesses than we are of our abilities. I often like to ask people about their strengths and what they are good at. When people reflect on this they sometimes remind themselves of their strengths of determination, hope, forgiveness, humour and resilience. By acknowledging our strengths we are often in a position to choose to draw on them to help ourselves and others.
Sometimes, as human beings, we can use our strengths against our own best interests. For example, we may use our determination to pursue an unachievable goal or we stick rigidly to a course of action even though it is not working.
As we start thinking about where our choices are taking us, we can make better decisions for the future. Ultimately, a life lived well is defined by a long history of good choices interspersed with some not-so-good ones. One of the better choices we can make is to resist the urge to beat ourselves up for our mistakes and instead look for what we can learn from the experience.
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Ken Warren BA, M Soc Sc is Australia's leading speaker on Workplace Relationships and an expert on People Management Skills. With his engaging, interactive and positive seminars, Ken has shown thousands how to turn difficult people around and bring out their best. Check out all his FREE resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
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