Find a better perspective
A friend told me recently a story of two drivers he saw arguing over a parking space at a shopping centre. Apparently, one driver's friends were standing in the space waiting for their friend to negotiate the car park, when a second driver arrived first and thought they were entitled to it. As the tempers flared, my friend watched with amusement as two nearby car parks became available, but went unnoticed by the combatants.
Its funny how we can all get so caught up in our emotions that we fail to see solutions that are right in front of us. I am sure both drivers thought they were entitled to the car park they were fighting over. When we are in this frame of mind, we seem to have tunnel vision and are unable to see things any way but our own.
Have you ever had an argument with someone, but later, when your emotions settled, decided you were being a bit unreasonable? We all have 20/20 vision in hindsight. Given enough time, we can often come up with different ways of seeing things. Thinking that our way of seeing things is the only way, and we need to pressure others to think similarly, is sure to bring about some unnecessary tension. To paraphrase a common expression, there is nothing as dangerous as a single perspective when it is the only one we ever have.
How can we come up with more balanced ways of thinking? Simply allowing yourself some time will often help. Ask yourself if there is another way of seeing things. But to do so, you have to realise that there is more than one way to see a given situation. This is especially true in relationships. It was St Francis of Assisi who said it is more important to understand than it is to be understood. By seeking to understand other people's way of seeing things, we can become more open-minded, as well as more compassionate. In relationships you want to preserve, you do not always have to see things the same way, but you do have to agree on the way ahead.
Maybe someone you respect would see your situation in a much more productive or less stressful way. What would they be saying? It is amazing how the right conversation with the right person can often bring about a more constructive way of thinking. Consider if there really is evidence for the way you are currently seeing things. Often, the hard facts do not support our negative position.
You could also ask yourself if things could be worse. We can often gain a better perspective by comparing the situation with the worst possible scenario. A major personal crisis tends to give us a better perspective about what is really important.
Want to use this article?
You are most welcome to reproduce this article in your newsletter or on your website.
All I ask is that you include a live link back to my website and the following by-line:
Ken Warren BA, M Soc Sc is Australia's leading speaker on Workplace Relationships and an expert on People Management Skills. With his engaging, interactive and positive seminars, Ken has shown thousands how to turn difficult people around and bring out their best. Check out all his FREE resources at www.positivepeoplesolutions.com.au
Return to Articles page
Download Ken's promotional flyer on his speaking programs
Book Ken for your next conference, association meeting or in-house training day
